The Mom Life – Essentially Momming

05Oct 2018 by EssentiallyMomming No Comments

Stop Trying To Be First Class When Clearly You Are Coach

It's almost the Holidays and if there’s one thing you can count on- it’s parents in a crazy rage frantically searching to spoil their kids with whatever new toy Target doesn't have enough of. We end up selling our souls on the black market just so our kids can unwrap a defective Hatchimal on Christmas morning and then never touch it again. If the rush of adrenaline isn't enough to get your blood pumping, just wait until your husband finds out what you spent when the bank statement arrives. The things I did for that damn Hatchimal…. But when will we learn? And it isn't just with toys, it’s with events, too. Like Misery on Ice or whatever it’s called, or the biPolar Express. On several occasions I’ve set all…

30Aug 2018 by EssentiallyMomming 9 Comments

The Tooth Fairy: How I Changed The Game

The Mom Life, The Naked Truth

So recently my kid lost his first tooth. Which was a really big deal and a huge life event. For ME. Why didn't anyone warn me about the stress and pressure that comes with impersonating this faux fairy phenomenon? And how did I not see this coming? I mean I had over 6 years to prepare for this moment and I feel like I was a little too close to adding another traumatic childhood event to the checklist of things my kid is gonna have to work through later in life. He’s got enough problems. He’s an only child. So I want to help others. Oops, wrong word. I want to warn others. So you can think of me when it’s your turn. (And hopefully not screw it up).…

24Aug 2018 by EssentiallyMomming 3 Comments

To Be, Or Not To Be… A PTO Mom

The Mom Life, The Naked Truth

Lindsay for President! So it's ‘back to school’ time and you know what that means- more pressure to join the PTO! For those of you who aren't familiar with what PTO stands for- shame on you! Just kidding, you are one lucky Mother! Or Father. And it stands for Parent Teacher Organization. Sounds thrilling, right? Before kids, I always imagined I’d be the perfect PTO mom. Heck, maybe even the PTO president! I mean, my mom made it all look so easy. Every day she walked us to school and then had all day to like mail letters and get film developed or whatever moms did before social media and smart phones. She attended every class party, every school function, and the school staff knew her by name. She had…

20Mar 2018 by EssentiallyMomming 4 Comments

Not My Vacation. Part One: Before My First Trip To Disney

Series Posts, The Mom Life, The Naked Truth

Hi. My name is Lindsay, I am 33 years old, and I have never been to Disney World. And here’s another confession- I have absolutely no desire to. Yep, I said it. Because that’s apparently what happens to children who grow up never having experienced the magic that you can (supposedly) only get at a Disney theme park. I just don't get all the hype. Not even a little bit. I don’t know, there’s something about spending thousands of dollars to walk 27 miles a day and stand in super long lines in the hot Florida sun that just doesn't Tinker my Belle, so to speak. A world of sunburn, blisters, and bankruptcy isn’t my idea of the happiest place on Earth. But I’m a mom and you know how…

08Feb 2018 by EssentiallyMomming 15 Comments

Hunger Games: Packing A Lunch My Kid Won’t Eat

The Mom Life, The Naked Truth

You know that happy, warm feeling of maternal satisfaction when your child comes home from school, tosses his empty lunchbox on the counter and then gushes about how yummy his lunch was? Yeah, me neither. Please tell me I’m not the only mom who instantly goes into a state of panic and frustration each night when it’s time to think about packing my kid’s lunch. I wish I didn't get so worked up about it, after all it's basically just a fake lunch anyway- like a prop. Like when you are trying to sell your house but all your furniture has either been shredded by your cats or destroyed by your kids, (or in my case, both), and no one in their right minds would want to buy it.…

26Jan 2018 by EssentiallyMomming 17 Comments

5 (Honest) Advantages To Having Just One Child

The Mom Life, The Naked Truth

I have one child. He’s five, but if you haven't heard by now, he thinks he's fourteen. I’ve certainly got my work cut out for me with this one and I’m perfectly content with my cozy little family of three. In fact, I’m pretty proud that I’ve even kept him alive this long, thank you very much. *takes a bow* But people like to tell me that I should have more kids. That I’m “doing it wrong.” That I’m being selfish or that I'm psychologically damaging my child by not bringing more humans into this world for the sole purpose of giving him the status of “brother”. Don't get me wrong; I admire all of you parents of two, three, four, and even (gasp!), FIVE kids- but I am just…

22Jan 2018 by EssentiallyMomming 5 Comments

I’m Raising A Real-Life Dennis the Menace (So Help Me God)

The Mom Life

The day I received a call from the Vice Principal of my son's elementary school was a mixed bag of emotions; shock, denial, guilt, shame, and then anger- at both my child and the school simultaneously. My kid is in KINDERGARTEN people. Is it that hard to color between the lines, sit in a circle for story time, and limit the number of boogers you eat in public? And if my kid elbowed a fellow five year old in line, is that really a principal-worthy offense? (In case you were wondering, the answer to all of these is a big fat YES). I went from thinking, “I’m gonna kick that kid’s #%*”, to “This entire school system is more broken than my ‘off limits’ nativity set after Christmas.” I mean, when…

21Jan 2018 by EssentiallyMomming No Comments

What the $*#! just happened?

The Mom Life

So I guess this is happening. It's real. I did it. A REAL blog. In the flesh! Well, there's no flesh involved, but still. (It's not that kind of blog...) Here I am. "Essentially Momming" because let's face it, all of us moms are, essentially, momming it up 24/7. It's what we do. It ain't easy and it isn't always pretty but we mom and we mom HARD. I'm here to show you how I mom and hopefully we can get through this journey together with some love, some laughs, and a whole lotta wine. Or in my case, a whole lotta anxiety but I don't want to scare you right off the bat so let's just go with wine. I guess I should introduce myself. I'm a twenty-something laid…